It's Not The Pain That's Hard, It's The Joy We Leave

"... I have taken my worst wound in parting with this joy."

I can’t get this quote out of my head tonight; in J.R.R Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings”, he uses one his beloved characters Gimli (a stubborn dwarf with a huge sensitive side) to explain a huge enveloping theme in the Christian life, in my opinion. Gimli is leaving the most joyous place he’s ever seen, and laments it, he says “Torment in the dark was the danger I feared, and it did not hold me back. But I would not have come, had I known the danger of the light and joy. I have taken my worst wound in parting with this joy.”
•
This quote perfectly entails the struggle I’ve dealt with throughout my entire life, and most evidently leaving for Iraq, and now about to come back to home. It’s not the pain I’ve experienced here, or the suffering; but the joy of friendships and love that I had to part with to come here that hurt the most, the same with leaving here now.
•
Christ’s life perfectly encapsulates what it means to surrender, and man, I need a lesson in that every single second of everyday. So much of me doesn’t want to leave behind the joy and love I’ve found here, yet I know that our life as believer is one of continually surrender, not hoarding. Learning to let breathe may be one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn throughout my life; and I’m thankful for Iraq slowly teaching me what that means.
•
So tonight I encourage you, sit, think, and ponder not only about “The Lord of the Rings” (obviously) but your life as well, what are the joys you have? What are the gifts the Lord has blessed you with? Are you holding of the gift or the giver? Are you allowing the joy of them to keep you away from what makes the gift joyful in the first place?
•
Side note and completely unrelated: All of my first grade girls were late for my class by 15 minutes because the were picking me flowers; and then they gave me some, so of course I forgave them. But little did I know they picked poison ivy and now I have it all over my body. Which furthers my theory that 1st graders are all secretly evil. That’s all.